Note to Self

In times like these many people who are kings and queens of their own world are bowing to the instability of the world we live in. Their kingdoms gone, their subjects are scattered, and their crowns are on display at the local Pawn Shop.

The true leaders in this new world will rise from the ash of the old facade of false security. The people who move with momentous energy, the people who don't settle for second, and the people who remain accountable for their responsibilities. Wise stewards and prudent decision makers.

So to all those responsible people out there. Your time has come. Do not say, "I have worked for nothing," there is no such thing, and do not give up. Revamp your financial plans. Shut off the news for a day and think about how you can adjust your lifestyle. Skip American Idol one night a week and give yourself TWO HOURS to judge your own life, to make your own plans, and to root for someone you love.

Hold on to what matters and to hell with the rest. Don't let one tree block you from playing in the forest.

You've got to get yourself together now. You're stuck in a moment... and you CAN get out of it. We will move beyond this moment.

After all it is simply a moment.

It feels like...

I am watching my life fall apart right before my eyes.

And I don't know how to stop the madness.

Music has the ability to make us feel. Much of the music I have heard over the duration on my life makes a point to look at life though rosy colored glasses making the grimmest of situations, emotions, feelings seem good. Some artists go over the top, some fall short, but in the case of Barrett Johnson's, In Case I Went Missing, I would say he plays it just right.

In a time when the simplicity of music can be lost so easily in the studio, Barrett plays simply, speaks softly, and writes honestly. I have trouble comparing his music to that of Travis or the softer side of Coldplay because his substance is approachable and realistic to me, but sonically the similarities are there. The acoustic sound with plenty of layered vocals and instrumental arrangements contain a delicate interplay that makes several of the songs worth listening to on repeat.

This album has literally been the highlight of my musical journey this year. Perhaps because I feel it hits so close to home or perhaps because I know how great of a guy Barrett is, but regardless this gem is worthy of attention. Plus, if you want to feel really cool, you can go to any number of his shows in the LA/OC area and meet some incredibly fantastic people. Not to mention, the ever-wonderful Billy Kernkamp or Billy with The Last Campfire.

Always worth the night out. Always. Always. Always.

By the way, I know by know you are wondering how much I get paid for this, (answer: zero), but if you have a desire to look cool while you feel cool out on the town or at one of these shows. I highly recommend you stop by Billy's Vintage clothing store Denim Blue located in Huntington Beach on the North side of Beach Blvd. between Ellis and Talbert. It is by far the most plesant place I have ever shopped, hung out, been groped, etc.

She's a Good Girl

Freefalling
There is nothing that can stop it
Nothing can be done
Exhiliaration blanks the mind
Blinds the eyes
Deafens the ears
Sensory overload
Adrenaline is pumping
All the while falling
This is the beginning
Freefalling

Nothing...

Nothing Floods my soul and fills me with gratitude like a good rain.

I am never more content then when it is raining. The more firece the storm the more excitement. I am part of it and it is a part of me.

The proof and truth of the complete lack of control I have over a world that is sustained by something far outside of itself.

Color Quiz

Justin took the free ColorQuiz.com personality test! "Intense, vital, and animated, taking a delight in ..." Click here to read the rest of the results.

Dry Eyes

I missed something
I wish I forgot
What I knew I wanted
What I did not

I want you
in the rain
I want you despite your pain
I want you
in the rain

A night gone by
A longing still plain
I'll keep my light on
Sleep in silent strain

I want you
in the rain
I want you despite my pain
I want you in the rain

No pleasure here
I'll sleep alone
Shifting subtly and without gain
The sky taps out a soft refrain

I want you
in the rain

The Final Word

So I received a few responses to my last rebuttal to Prop 8 some less scathing then others, but none as convincing as they were patronizing.

Every law that exists today that has given marriage any legal protection, any tax benefit, and a spouse any right has been supported by a group of people. All bills are sponsored, drafted, proposed, defined and voted on, and as we can all see this is no easy process. So all the religious groups, and non religious people who are pro-marriage have laid the foundation legally over several years struggling through issues such as interracial marriage, marriage age limitations, and all the other insanities that are packed in to the legal infrastructure of what we call marriage. To most people its just about finding someone and being bound to them, but we easily take for granted how much work has been put in to make a marriage a legal entity for each couple.

Regardless of how I feel now about how America can take something so simple and make it in to something so arduous and prolific; the word as defined is rooted in our culture, is required to be taught about in schools, and is defined by our world in one way. Between a man and a woman. It does not matter whether you think this right or wrong... that is how it is. I do not believe it is rational or fair to just pretend that we can just slip a completely anatomically, socially, and otherwise different definition of marriage into the existing system. Especially when this particular definition of marriage is considered unacceptable to the interest groups who worked to define it in the first place.

Now before you blow a gasket... realize something. If civil unions are not equal to marriage, which I have heard mixed messages about, then I believe the gay community should have the courage to fight for equality. They should lay the infrastructure, they should sponsor the bills, and they should fight for their unions to be identified for what they are. I would support that. Sure they are the minority, and sure it will be hard, but that is the war story of any noble cause. This is America we have the freedom to fight for our rights. If the gay community would accomplish that feat then how dare anyone say that a civil union is less then a marriage. I believe gay couples share that level of love and commitment, and deserve legal rights.

So say what you will about red herring issues such as segregation, and cry all you want about how you are a second class citizen. Its all drama, and in my mind all bullshit. How dare anyone get so upset about something that involves all of us without having some rational solutions to the issue.

The people who spent their lives making marriage when it is today and other people who believe homosexuality is immoral (yes they exist whether you like it or not) are having THEIR rights infringed upon, their liberties attacked, and their lives affected.

So stop being angry for 5 seconds and think about a few solutions that we can all work on. Solutions that will be progressive, loving, and will lead to an answer. I'm not on here saying I am right! I just want people to talk, rationally, reasonably, and without judgment and condemnation. I can handle your venom, but I would rather learn something.

Art School Girlfriend

11.08.2008
Originally uploaded by jdddogg

This was one of my favorite pieces at the Hurley Art show last night. It was done by Antonio Lewington called "Zappa."

I'm Already Dead

According to the Bible's Old Testament God judged and destroyed many people. His judgement was brought upon Sodom and Gomorrah for many reasons. One reason in particular, which was deemed Biblically an abomination in more then one account was homosexuality. How could God do such a thing? The horror.

I don't understand God. I don't understand his motives. I don't know how he sees an abomination versus a white lie or petty theft. I believe he is judgement, he is emotion, he is the one who created it all. I do not believe that he enjoyed destroying his beloved creation, but he did destroy those people. I do believe in fact that if God could be limited to despise carrying out such an action that he would have.

If you do not believe in God or if you do not believe in a God who would do that then there is nothing I can tell you. I will not tell anyone what to believe. All I can say is what I believe.

God loves homosexuals. God made them knowing full well their lives would turn out the way they turn out. I do not understand this, but this I believe. If it is the Bible that tells me so then so be it, but for me it is more. These are my beliefs, and I cannot agree or passively agree with what I feel God disagrees with.

I am voting Yes on Proposition 8 because I feel in my heart that there need be no provision to sustain or support what has been said to be an abomination. This hurts my feelings, this hurts my mind, and this hurts my soul because I care for homosexual people and I want to live in harmony with everyone. I want to love and be loved regardless of my actions and my decisions, but regardless of right and wrong I will not promote any amendment to an institution such as marriage with those who have no respect for its sanctity. Homosexual or heterosexual. I will promote the reestablishment of an amendment that supports this case, and I will do so this Tuesday.

See you soon.

Make me a villain, the one you despise.
Ignore all the passion and longing and hide.
Put out the fire that burns deep inside.

Should I shut the door and go while you sigh?
A kiss from a friend to just say good bye.
Is better then parting and wondering why.

This is for all of us.

The business of destroying dreams will leave one void and dreamless.

Paradigms shift. They cannot be destroyed only gradually changed.

Stop trying to destroy the American dream. Change it, shift it, and live it.

The values that you believe fuel the virtues that you embody which drive the world in which we live in.

What are your values? Where do you get them from? Where will they take us?

I...

am in a permanent dream.

I wake up for seconds at a time to focus on certain tasks.

Slow Suicide With Silver Bullets

Life Lesson:

Good people attract good people.
Hoppin Hipsters attract hoppin hipsters.
Bumpin' gangstas attract bumpin gangstas.
Artist attract other artists.
Rockers attract rockers.
The business elite attract business elites.
Shitty people attract other shitty people.

I am happy to have a eclectic mix of all of these in my life, and, on the same note, perfectly content to lay in my room and listen to music all day long.

Much love to all the people I know out there.

Who Needs a Woman?

Writing my forlorn lover; my ever longing. The one I elude as I am often eluded.

To write voluntarily is a leisure for some, impossible for others, but necessary for me. It is something I desire to faithfully embrace.

I slowly massage my page with each random phrase. Reminding, recording, and informing. The top feels the kisses of my unending desire. Slowly I move down to the neck and arouse hidden feelings, passions, and emotions. With a tender touch of the collar I feel humanity and structure. Each deep breath unlocks another minute of accelerating rapture and excitement. The breasts define the mystery of difference between our worlds. It is the mystery that constantly intrigues me and draws my attention away from myself. The ribs are origin and the stomach sustenance, which resemble the unfound, the unseen, and the always longed for. I reach for the naval, which is the tunnel of connection to the past surrounded by the bones that birth the future. I find below the intimate areas that define all pleasure, perseverance, and power. All the time knowing that the legs and arms that carry out all action are wrapped around me. Holding me close. Forever.